its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
