Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
