Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
We have started to decorate penises.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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