Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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