I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
