I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
