so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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