Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
