it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
