people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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