I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Randomize
