Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
My liver is preforming stress tests.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
