im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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