Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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