I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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