He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
