I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
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