At least make sure they are 18
Why
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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