your parents love me but you hate me
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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