Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
