Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
