I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
