I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
