Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
