Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
