I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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