this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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