The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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