well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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