Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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