You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
