Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
