I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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