I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
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