There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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