I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
