He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
