Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
