its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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