her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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