Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Randomize
