It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
