My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
