Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
