This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
