Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
should my penis look like a turkey
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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