We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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