I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
