look no pants
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
