i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
