is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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