I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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