You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
It was confusing and full of hummus
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
