I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
