I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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