oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
