I CAN MOONWALK!
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
