i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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