when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
