No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
